Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Mormons make missionary position clear

Source: Headline about the Men on a Mission calendar

Ok, I don't typically go for cheap headlines, but the copy editor had a good time with this one. Do they not call it the missionary position in Australia? And thank you, news.com.au for giving me an excuse to stumble across the trivia that Thomas Aquinas spent time thinking about this particular position?!?

Anyway, back to Mormons Exposed, the name of the website. Yeah, that's going to endear to you the elders. Apparently, Chad Hardy bores no ill will toward those that kicked his undeserving ass to the curb. Possibly because the 10,000 calendars he's sold in 2008 is NOTHING compared to the bank he's going to make on the 2009 calendar...

The story goes on to say that "The men are photographed in traditional missionary garb and share their religious beliefs in biographical sketches." Why does this make me think of Playboy and their biographies? "I'm an Aries and my turn-ons are genealogy, potluck dinners, and dreaming of the good old days when great-grandpa Clem had three wives". And precisely how big is the picture of "traditional missionary garb" versus the beefcake pose?

Finally, I went to the website and clicked on all the pictures. You see the "missionary garb" pic first, but then you get beefcake. Do Mormon men have naturally hairless chests? If not, exactly what is the modest way to go about having one's chest waxed in this day and age?

Update: Chris, who knows most things I know, and everything I don't, says that all Mormons are hairless. Having spent many years in Mormon country, I guess he would know. Perhaps because Mormons naturally spend a lot of time exposing their chests???

4 comments:

ladyrutile said...

perhaps there's a genealogical reason?

Rachel said...

Oooh! I smell Christmas presents for the fam!

I'm with you on what was this kid thinking? Maybe he just had a death wish. If he was living in the epicenter at Provo, I'd understand a little cluelessness...but he's in worldlier Vegas, an always surprisingly Mo hotspot.

P.S. I would (respectfully) beg to differ on the mormon men = hairless. :)

Neil said...

Having no experience whatsoever with Mormon men, thankfully, I submit that whatever the reason for their allegedly hairless chests, it's more accurately designated genetic than genealogical, despite whatever etymological relationship the two words have.

Sometimes beer makes me wordy.

Debineezer said...

Oooh...check out the big brain on The Bastard. You a smart mother f*cker. That's right. Genetics