Thursday, October 30, 2008

Glowing cat? Not in MY house...

Yay for researchers in New Orleans who have made a cat glow, not just because it's funny as shit (yeah, I started out as white trash...and?) but because it may help cure cystic fibrosis. Someone pointed this story out to a mailing list I'm on with the subject Finally: One you won't trip over when stumbling to the bathroom at 3 a.m.. Here was my reply:

Two problems with that rationale:

One, I'm extremely nearsighted, so what I see ain't actually where it
Two, if the little bastard is between you and the bathroom at 3 a.m., it
is going to assume you want to either love on it or play with it. It
will move quickly, most likely to the position about to be occupied by
your feet. You will INDEED piss yourself for at LEAST the first six
weeks as a disembodied glowing blob runs figure eights around your
ankles at 3 a.m. You will learn not to drink after noon so that you will
not even need to pee in case the power goes out. Not that my cats are
evil...or is that all cats?

Mr. Green Genes may be a cutie, but not in my house he's not.

Turns out they're my F*ck YOU shoes

Source: The Men I Didn't Marry by Janice Kaplan & Lynn Schnurnberger
I'm reading 4 books at the moment...3 audio and 1 actual book. None of them with haste.

Monday, October 27, 2008

It’s called dementia, and I could go at any time

Dr. Jacob Hood, The Eleventh Hour

Mmmmm...Rufus Sewell (though DAMN that IMDB headshot looks like a mugshot). In a show that does NOT suck. One of those "detective" shows where he sort of pulls the answer out of his ass. Like Sherlock Holmes but much sexier than Basil Rathbone. Those of you who don't know that name obviously had no one in your life addicted to 1940s detective flicks on Sunday afternoon TV. Anyway, Basil wasn't bad looking for his time. I'd just prefer Rufus, ok?

Anyway, you can watch the episodes online, rendering your TV pretty much irrelevant. Neat, huh?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I sold the Renoir and the TV set

Source: The Reflex, Duran Duran
Yet another lyric that makes NO SENSE. And I just don't care. On your left you'll see a poor picture of keyboardist Nick Rhodes, by far my favorite member of the group. Followed by Roger Taylor (drummer). There was a tie between John Taylor (guitarist) and Simon LeBon (lead singer) until Simon showed up at the MTV music awards sporting some Don Johnson scruff. The I was in lust. Never liked Andy Taylor, the other guitarist.

I had a dream about Nick Rhodes in this very sweater. It involved him picking me up late at night in a deserted shopping center in a small car. I think. There was a lot of keyboard equipment in the back. I also had a similar dream about Princess Diana, but there was no keyboard equipment. It's hard to say who I loved more. Anyway, if I haven't made it clear, I loved Duran Duran. I don't not love them now, really. I loved Princess Diana for a MUCH longer time.

On a completely different topic, there is a "contest" going on over at Tomato Nation raising funds for an amazing cause. Donors Choose is an organization where teachers submit their requests for funds to supplement their students. I just donated $10 to help buy 2 cellos for a NYC school. Last year, I helped to buy a graphing calculator overhead projector and a something else. So far this year, the Tomato Nation readers have raised over $100K during the October Blogathon, and the Blogathon itself has raised in the neighborhood of $234K with 2500 donors. Donate $5 or $50 or more if you can. Make a difference in the life of some kids, not only physically, but by showing them that people they don't know care about their education. Do it through Tomato Nation or not, it really doesn't matter.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Don't fear the reaper...he's a big ol' sissy

I do not listen to Blue Oyster Cult. My only knowledge of them comes from the classic SNL More Cowbell skit starring Christopher Walken. And of course, from the classic hit "Don't Fear the Reaper". I've always been under the impression that BOC (as they dub themselves) is some sort of heavy metal band. Yeah, I'm done with that. Honestly, except for the cowbell, I've heard equally "hard rock" out of Neil Diamond. I don't hate the song. And maybe it's just one of those songs that doesn't really represent the band. But the reaper? Yeah, bring it.

In other news, The Bastard Neil has provided photographic evidence of his arrival in THE SOUTH. Which means, he went to Waffle House. Bastard.

Go ask Alice...

Yep, the transformation to bat-shit crazy dog owner is complete. I actually look forward to the seldom bestowed doggie kisses. I'd probably feel differently if they were lavishly gifted or even the least bit wet, but we all know that's not the point. There are pictures.

By the way? Entirely Rachel's fault. I was not insane before I started reading Twilight. I'm not saying I didn't have my tendencies, but I was not certifiable. I'd already spent 6 CRAZY weeks on the whole friggin' Edward and Bella thing. And yes, I named Alice after the coolest character in the book.

Until this little thing has put on some weight (she's less than 6 pounds and should probably be closer 8), there is a moratorium on BBQ jokes. BILL. You shall not skewer the underweight, got it?? I suspect the Bastard Neil will have someone competing for all that lamb.

Update: Alright, perhaps I cannot claim that Rachel is responsible for making me crazy. Bert claims I was crazy LONG before she came along (and his records go back to 1991). However, I think that everyone who knows me well knows my opinion on dogs. I hate them. So SOMETHING turned me from crazy to batshit. I'm blaming Rachel for THAT! Thank you, Rachel.

Friday, October 17, 2008


After I told a mailing list that I'm on that Alice has chosen me as her person, my dear friend Rachel responded with the following: "Debi, *you* got a dog? Well, that is just LOL-arious."

I assure you that there was NO defensiveness in my town when I replied:
"All I'm saying is that it cost me $75 to get her a rabies shot and a certificate of health. $110 to get the top of the line doggie carrier delivered overnight (yeah, hush everyone). $125 to get her on the f*cking plane. And $93 to upgrade to "Economy Plus" on United (which I would have done anyway). BUT, I did not let my mother buy her a little cheerleader outfit. Spoiled rotten she will be, but she will retain SOME friggin' dignity I tell you. And I will ONLY put her in the pink camouflage t-shirt if I can't find something else (it's a hand-me-down).

"If the economy gets any worse, I'm going to have sell my husband to support my pet habit. "

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Do you deal in Black Money?

Source: Black Money, Culture Club
Nostalgic 80s alert!

I have no idea what this song means, but it keeps running through my head. Not in a bad way at all. It's one of those soulful numbers that Boy George was really good at. It's off the 1983 Colour by Numbers album. Seriously? 1983? It's been 25 years since they did a good album? I could feel older, but I'm just not in the mood.

Someone told me I'd done a nice enough thing yesterday that they weren't going to make me give up my jelly shoes. Or at least my theoretical jelly shoes. They don't look the same these days. The look like they MIGHT be sturdy and who wants jelly shoes you don't need to replace every few months?? Talk about missing the point!! And she said it in Comic Sans. Now THAT is love.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

And He's Off!

The Prodigal Bastard emailed today to say that's vacating the state of Vermont headed south on a loop toward Seattle. Not to indicate that Debineezer Scrooge has missed The Bastard Neil in anyway during his extended absence.

I'm in Tampa. The weather ain't so bad, thankfully. I think a dog may have chosen me. Her name is Alice. She seems to be an Italian Greyhound/Chihuahua mix. Mom rescued her from her rescuer who couldn't keep her. Crazy old stray saving cat lady, my mom...gotta love her! Of course, she comes from a LONG line of stray gram tried to save a den of coyotes when she was young...lasted until they started teething. Anyway, she's still a bit of a puppie, not well socialized and needs a bit of housebreaking. But she's heartbreakingly beautiful and I may have to dig up the $125 United is going to charge me to take her home. Friggin' dog.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Honestly didn't leave much in Tampa...

Mom's husband has been discharged and is now living at my gram's house with her. And it's not going well. Because he's your general asshat at the best of times. But now that he's got advanced Cirrhosis he's got no short-term memory, he's angry and scared and mom's taking the brunt. So, off I fly to my own personal hell. I miss Tampa in February when I'm DONE with the Seattle winter. A week will do me. The only things left there for me are a BIG HONKING piece of furniture my gram gave me and my mom. I'll be moving both out here to Seattle as soon as possible. *Sigh*

Anyway, just going to hang out with the Momster and see what I can do to get her some support. And oversee the talented soon-to-be cousin-in-law color mom's hair either purple or cherry red. Or both.

And Bastard, oh Bastard, where art though?

Friday, October 10, 2008

Avoid boys who reach for the Star Wars condoms

Source: The Men I Didn't Marry by Janice Kaplan & Lynn Schnurnberger
The main character has just dropped her younger child off at Yale and as she walks by the freshman orientation table spies a bowlful of condoms. She wonders if she should have given this piece of advice to her daughter before leaving. Honestly, this line is in the first 5 minutes of the audiobook. I'm really looking forward to the rest.

Not to tempt fate, but someone is supposed to start on his way back to Seattle tomorrow. Happy trails, safe journeys, and please don't piss off any lesbian life partners. At least none that you can't outrun. Lamb and Booker's Noe await you at the end of the road.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Is repetence inspiring?

While my blog entries are getting longer, the names don't seem to come to me with the same exciting frequency. Hrmmm...perhaps because I've been reading the same 4 books for two months? I shall have to consider this.

Anyway, Yom Kippur begins tonight. Perhaps I shall return with new vigor and inspiration...though I must admit in that arena I only have ennui and a few questions.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Did she just slapshot the US Constitution?

Source: Head of Skate
This is that Sarah Palin Disney movie trailer I linked to a couple of days ago. The response to this question is "No sir. Just the Bill of Rights."

I just finished Twilight on audio, and I'm about an hour into New Moon. New Moon is easily the hardest book of the series, even though you know that the whole thing has a happy ending. While I'm sure I'll savor listening, it's impossible for me not to identify on an emotional level. It's almost as if I wish I could identify on a deeper emotional level. Stephenie Meyer is a phenomenal writer. Bitch.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

I made the cowardly lion look like the terminator

Twilight, Stephenie Meyer
Ok, this I can NOT blame on The Bastard Neil. Nor, until he reads this, did he even know to mock me (though after his summer reading, all I can say is he needs to zip it). I cannot blame this on Bert. Though he's got enough blame to shoulder for a life time. No THIS? This is Rachel's fault. And frankly, she deserves to be tired from the Portland Marathon today. Freakish fool that I adore.

Rachel invited me to join her book group. Because, well, Rachel rocks. Duh! Last month's book was Catch-22. I hate that book. And this is not about that book. And I was sick during that book club. No, really, because I would have had a thing or two to say about hating that book.

Anyway, this month's is Twilight. If you've been too a book store since July, the 4th book of the series is the one with the chess scene on the cover. Oh! That one. Mike read it quite a while ago, but I always teased him about it being high school vampire porn. Human girl and vampire "boy" meet. Fall madly in love. Much tragedy ensues over the course of 4 books.

I picked up the first book the week before Labor Day. Too popular to get out of the library in any sort of timely fashion. Had to buy it paperback (YUCK). Had to buy it (I don't buy books, that's what libraries are for). Took me a week or so to finish, since we painted the kitchen over Labor Day. I finished it on the plane between Seattle and Houston on my way to Tampa and immediately found the Borders in the Airport to buy Book 2. Yeah, the next day I bought Book 3 and suffice to say I was done with Book 4 before I left Tampa. It's MESMERIZING. Not only did I read them all (not unusual) in a little over a week (a little unusual) but I bought them all (unheard of) and her unrelated one (which I haven't actually read yet though Mike keeps bugging me).

Now, I will tell you why Rachel is evil. A week or so after I got back from Tampa? Yeah, I picked up Twilight (Book 1) again on Friday night and just started paging through. 12 hours later? Done. The next weekend? All three books in about 5 days. READING SLOWLY THIS TIME.

Now I will tell you why Rachel is karmically sore. Earlier this week? I started listening to the audio book. Which at least TAKES LONGER. And, the ultimate in loser-dom??? I PAID FOR THE DAMNED THING. Yes, yes it's true. I couldn't wait for it to come in, so I paid for the damned thing. In my defense, I didn't really mean to. I got the "free trial" from, and instead of using my free credits, I um, didn't. I think that qualifies me. So, I used my free credits on Book 2:)!

Anyway, there aren't a ton of good one-liners. And I should know, now that I'm going through it for the THIRD FRIGGIN' TIME. Did I mention the movie comes out on November 21?

Friday, October 03, 2008

It's been THAT kind of week...

Major project started Tuesday, the first day I was out for the Jewish New Year. I logged into my email Wednesday night to find 65 emails...not too bad for a 2 day absence. Fires, but nothing unmanagable. Clean out my box, put things on my list to deal with Thursday morning. Thursday morning I arrive at the office...41 new emails. FIRE! PANIC! MAYHEM! ALL FECES IN THE ROTARY AIR MOVER!!! Debi slammed out of the director's office, Debi was non-too-kind to people that it might have been impolitic to be non-too-kind to, Debi failed to deliver goodies to her dearest post-surgical friend. It was an awful, evil, no good, VERY bad day.

Anyway, I've given up on screen names for this week. However, I would like to give you a few links. One, kitchen pics have finally arrived. I love it. It's fabulous. It makes me happy. I will be having the kitchen warming exactly two days before The Bastard Neil is scheduled to arrive in Seattle. Perhaps it will encourage him to get his Bastard Ass back here more quickly. Bastard.

And, you simply MUST watch the trailer for the Sarah Palin Disney Movie.