Thursday, February 04, 2010

Never pass up an opportunity to ride a good greased goat

Fellow PM in response to a predicted cluster

There's a term in the project world called "Goat Rodeo". It speaks to, well, the majority of corporate life in a lot of places. Everyone's running around wanting things yesterday, and they can't have them because they didn't do what they needed to do to make it happen.

For instance, when I have to arrange to have some sites updated, you actually need to TELL me that you'd like me to handle it. I used to have a vision problem: If I saw a problem I made it my own. I don't have this problem so much anymore. Frankly, it's no longer my job to go begging for MORE work I don't have time for, even if I know at some point it will probably bite me in the ass. It will bite me in the ass LATER unlike the things that are waiting on my plate to devour me now.

Second, 36 hours is not an appropriate amount of time to do updates for a site that require us to get prior approval. In fact, they tend get pretty pissy with us when we just randomly go in and start changing their setup without them saying "Why yes, we'd LOVE to have you do that for us." Ask me how I know this. I have found that big accounts tend to give you a break when you're ACTUALLY down on your knees when you make that apology call. Even if they can't see it, there's something about the position that helps your voice convey that "for the love of G-D don't yell at my CEO about this" sense of urgency and about-to-piss-oneself fear. In all fairness, when I screw up that big? I tell my boss, his boss and the account manager in micro-seconds. Which MIGHT be why they've got my back.

Third, when I email you and said "I've never been involved with this, so I need more info or the name of who has handled it in the past," you should be prepared to give me one or both. It makes it easier for me to perform miracles. I do pull off miracles. Make me want to pull one off for you.

Finally, I accept several forms of thank you gifts, dark chocolate being my favorite. And if you're going to tell me I rock? Tell my boss. He knows, but he likes it when other people know, too. Just revere me like the rock star I am, and I will make you look good. Ciao!


Anonymous said...


You been doing your voodoo to read my mind again?

Man, I gotta share this one.

Philip H. said...

Let me assur eyoy the greased goat riding pales in comparison to greased pig riding - or so I've been told.