Past life regression

A freight train packed with asthmatic warthogs.
Source: Chris describing his wife’s flu-induced snoring



Don't Buy Fisher-Price
Source: Chris suggesting an alternative to “Stay off the Bridges”
This was right after the bridge in Minneapolis collapsed and we found out that all the toys have lead in them. You know, all the toys we grew up with had lead in them, and we turned out ok. Didn't we?



I don’t spend a lot of time fondling chickens
Source: Mike after seeing a very unlifelike “lifelike” rubber chicken
Apparently, his wife saying "Feel this, it feels fake" isn't enough inducement for him to try.




Where have all the Yugos gone?
Source: Inspiration from conversation with the Bastard Neil