Sunday, November 16, 2008

If it was up your ass you'd know

Something Derrick Midkiff used to say when we were in high school

Derrick used to say this all the time when someone asked the location of some object. It never occurred to any of us to reply "Well, it's really not up my ass, which is why I enquire." Of course, I grew up with a bunch of military brats. They thought opening up a bag of potato chips flat on the counter, yelling "Potato Famine!" and going at it with their faces (hands held behind their backs) was the HEIGHT of hilarity. Maybe it was. We also liked to shoot bottle rockets out of moving vehicles and shoot Pepsi machines with BB pistols. I grew up in Podunkville, not a lot of trouble we could get into so we had to be VERY creative.

I felt like this a lot last week. Some people SERIOUSLY needed to look up their ass to find their head. "Here's this, can you figure it out?" Um, no. It's not my responsibility (it's yours), I don't actually know how this applies (it isn't the right info) and I'm currently doing the work of 2 people in half the time it should take. I'm totally not complaining about the last part. However I am SOOOO much less inclined to even feel SYMPATHY for others being even a little bit clueless.


Philip H. said...

This is why you wouldn't make a good bureaucrat.

Anonymous said...

I knew a guy whose annoying catchphrase was "better than a jab in the ass with a sharp stick". Well, probably yes. But you seem awfully sure - how often has that happened to you?