Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Have you gained weight??

Coworker's suggestion for abuse stopping question

I? Was attacked today. It has been over 4 years since I've been verbally attacked in the workplace and over 10 years since it happened in person. It was stupid. I made a mistake and the attacker over-reacted with a vengeance. Nothing like topping off 5 days of irregular heartbeat with a new orifice, eh? As always, the boss has my back. With an equal and opposite vengeance.

I confided in my co-worker-who-shall-remain-nameless about this incident. Coworker has had her/his own problems with the attacker in question. Coworker is a refreshingly deadpan and often serious soul. Coworker looked at me and said quite seriously "The only appropriate response to that is 'Bite me.'" Coworker said if that doesn't work, to drop the above question. Honestly? I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard (sorry, Chris). And coworker is much cherished due this well-timed laugh.

Coworker also told me not to share the knowledge of this very powerful question. However, I figure the 2.6 readers of my blog will keep the secret.

1 comment:

Itty Bitty Crazy said...

May I also suggest:

"It's OK. I know you don't mean it. I can only imagine you're behaving like this because the truth has finally come out about your husband/wife."

[High Voice] "I'M RUBBER AND YOU'RE GLUE! ANYTHING YOU SAY BOUNCES OFF ME AND STICKS ON YOU! [Pause for stunned silence] Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were playing Behave like a 3rd grader today."

"Bob, I'm sorry if you've finally found out what people here say about you behind your back, but please dont take it out on me."